Its not a friday... again... but I've been catching up on some Zs, so I apologize for the late post. (Technically, I feel like this is just a place for me to reflect and rant on and I don't actually have to be so conscious about my updates since I'm not some famous blogger..) Anyway, today's National Day (Singapore's birthday) so yeah... but nothing interesting happened. 

This week's post is going to be some self reflection for me. I think I've been a horrible person. Somehow coming to JC I've become a meaner person, maybe the people around me, I'm not really sure why but I realised I've been judging people more and talking badly about people.. I know I'm terrible, but immediately after that I'd start feeling bad and guilty. I know its kinda hypocritical of me to judge people when I don't want others to judge me. I don't say it out per se, but just having those bad thoughts make me so guilty and horrible. I think I have my classmates to blame as some of them are really blunt and just say what they think without much filter. It's one thing to be direct but another when it's a judgement of say a stranger. I really have to process before I say something, I'm such an idiot. 'face palm' 

So another sign of me being a mean human being? Talking bad about people, which can be said to be some form of gossiping? Actually, everyone gossips, its just how often we do it. Nevertheless, its a bad habit, and I should try to curb it. Personally, I don't really gossip and talk bad about people that often, if you wanna compare to other people, but there's definitely an increase in frequency and I absolutely hate it. Most of the time, about the male species.. Technically, they didn't really do anything to me, but what they do offends me. I'm sure I've mentioned tons of times that I dislike guys. It just so happens that the guys I've met and seen around are jerks or just weird in general. And the stories I hear... 'shudders' In secondary school, I've basically been living in my own bubble and is generally quite unaware of the guys and things going on around me. I live in a world with only my friends and all distinctly female, there's not many anyway. But the guys in my secondary school are quite horrible too, the ah bengs (male hooligans/rebellious guys?) get on my nerves, insulting people, smoking and bullying? It kills me to be in the same room as them. In JC, the guys are just weird and ungentlemanly and desperate. 

Damn it, talking bad about guys in the post... see all these pent up frustrations?!?! they do hold some truth though.. so is it that bad??? YES IT IS BAD. I NEED TO REFLECT AND LIKE EXORCISE THE EVIL ME. I will control myself and see how it goes, maybe exercise and destress. (psh like I would actually keep up with exercising.. who am I kidding) I will try my best to keep my inner meanie down. 

Sorry if this is an awfully boring post, but I needed to talk to myself and you know get rid of such undesirable habits. Hope y'all are having a great weekend so far! Till next time! Cheerio!